#original intentions have shifted since that last para with Sirius #hope it's not too confusing
Doe and Remus || Waiting
Remus had been keeping to himself lately. This tended to happen around the full moon; he grew more reserved than his usual self, turning to the comfortable confines of the library for long hours, more than he might otherwise. It was easier that way. The pain of transformation wasn’t sudden; it was a feeling which crept beneath the skin in drawn out reminders of what he was and just how different he was from his fellow students. It was easier to simply put his head down and study rather than burden his friends with his ill manner. But he suspected this wasn’t the only reason why he hadn’t asked Sirius, James or Pete if they wanted to go to the library with him that afternoon. Normally he would. Normally he’d advise they get some work done before the week was through, but not this time.
Remus gathered up his things, his various books, parchment, a quill and ink, stuffing them into his bag almost carelessly before making his way down the steps of his dorm and through the common room. It was easy to avoid his fellow Gryffindors. There was a reason he hung around the likes of James Potter and Sirius Black, not only because they happened to be the best mates he could ever hope for, but back in his first year they were safe. Remus didn’t necessarily blend in alongside them, but he didn’t have to. The mere association meant he crossed the common room without being approached. Anyone who might possibly be compelled to speak to him was either a Marauder, thus not there, or with his fellow Marauders. It was a cruel truth, but Remus was more than used to it.
The same could not be said about Dorcas. The portrait swung open, and Remus scrambled out of the portrait hole, his eyes instantly falling on Dorcas, currently sat upon the cold ground as if waiting for something. Someone, most likely, and by that he meant Sirius. It was no secret what they’d been up to, at least not the gist of it. It didn’t take someone telling him for Remus to work it out. Word got around at Hogwarts, given how it was full of students eager to gossip and the castle was fairly small considering. Besides, Remus was observant, sometimes too much so for his own good. He couldn’t fathom why it had caused him to feel a nagging sense of annoyance, but it did and so he avoided it at all costs. He avoided them at all costs. And so a while had passed since that afternoon spent with Dorcas by the lake. Only now, avoiding Dorcas was no longer an option.
“Dorcas,” he said, a smile making its way to his lips but there was an element of control about it; it was forced. And despite prior warnings, Remus continued to address her by her full name. It was either that, or Meadowes, for anything else would have been too affectionate, too intimate even, for the boy who strove to keep a distance. The day he allowed such to slip from his lips was the day he believed he wasn’t defined by his condition. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, his eyes flicked to the drum of her fingers. She was just as restless as Sirius. In fact, he could see why they were together. At least he hoped that’s what they were, for if it was anything less than Remus suspected the sting would only be more piercing. Releasing a sigh of resignation, Remus shoved these less savoury thoughts to the back of his mind for the time being.
“Our team kicked your arse in quidditch last year, an embarrassing defeat, but Ravenclaw must have some redeeming qualities. So what brings you to Gryffindor Tower?”
Doe was pulled from her musings and the music in her head as the portrait finally swung open. She had originally intended to see that blasted arse, but Doe could feel her heart swell in relief as a different (and usually more agreeable) Marauder stepped into the corridor. Remus. Doe had barely seen him since the incident by the lake. She hadn’t seen him at all at the party, and since then she had been, not exactly avoiding him, but not really making an effort to greet him or spend time with him. She knew that James and Sirius had told him of what transpired at that stupid party in the pitch. She also knew that she had been avoiding thinking about it.
Every time Dorcas’ mind wandered to that night or her conversation with James shortly after, she felt an odd pull in her stomach. It wasn’t the nice butterflies she got when she and Sirius were together. It was an almost nauseating lurch. She was ashamed, but why? Hadn’t she always told herself that life was too short for regrets? These days, life really was short. She had just read in the paper about another muggle family being found dead in their home, the Dark Mark set above their house. It made her wonder if this was really the time to be fighting so bitterly with friends, or letting shame and regrets get in the way of furthering other friendships.
But if there was one thing about Doe, she was stubborn. Not as stubborn as some of her friends, but certainly still strong-willed. She knew that what had happened earlier that day between her and Sirius had been largely her fault. She’d been annoyed, in a bad mood, and had taken it out on him. On the other hand, she thought, as a white-hot flash of anger shot through her again, he didn’t have to yell at her the way he had. He hadn’t needed to insult her like he had. After all, she hadn’t insulted him at all! She’d just told him to stop eating off her plate. He was the one bringing up the cupboard, and insulting her, and comparing her to some cow. Asshole.
Doe got to her feet as the other Marauder addressed her, always by her full name. Always. The day that changed, she would probably have to give him a party. A “congratulations on getting that stick out of your arse” party. It was a shame that the two of them couldn’t just be friends. It was a shame that they couldn’t ever just sit and chat like she did with the rest of her mates. It was a shame that there was this odd barrier between them at all times. Doe honestly wasn’t sure why she cared so much. There were other people in the castle with whom she had a strained relationship, sure, but it never bothered her quite like it did with Remus. After all, she wasn’t particularly close with Peter and didn’t really mind. It was all rather odd.
The blonde glanced up at him, a small smile meeting his. She didn’t miss the way it didn’t extend to his eyes. It was just a friendly gesture. The way a polite person would greet someone with whom they were on amicable terms. Nothing more.
“Remus, you should know better than to bring up Quidditch around me,” she said, adjusting the strap of her bag. “And actually, I’m really glad that I ran into you.”