Doe and Remus || Waiting
The emphasis on her last word did not go unnoticed by Remus. It just so happened that he knew exactly what had happened since the party, even if it hadn’t been said in words. Nothing went unnoticed when you shared a dorm with others. That much had been proved when James, Sirius and Pete had originally approached him about his secret, being a werewolf. That didn’t escape their notice despite Remus’ pained efforts. Besides, what did James and Sirius have to hide? There was no shame in them living their lives and making the most of the moment. The same could not be said for him. Remus would never have forgiven himself had he let himself be caught up in the heat of the moment. He had to be careful. He’d only hurt someone like Doe, who was fragile despite her ferocity simply because he was a werewolf and she was not.
Remus had to rein in his curiosity however. What he didn’t know was that Dorcas might not wish to see Sirius. That they weren’t on good terms was completely unknown to him. He supposed it explained Sirius’ particularly foul mood but in all honesty any number of things could have triggered that. It was hardly unusual. Remus’ eyes trailed her movements as she rose to her feet, the slight twinge of annoyance as he said her full name, although it shouldn’t have annoyed her. It was an intimacy he denied most, the only exception being the Marauders. He felt even more compelled to keep his distance in light of how frustrated the fact that she and Sirius had been together, and that she and James had kissed, had made him. He didn’t want to feel anything, let alone that.
“Really?” he asked, not entirely certain he wished to delve into this area of discussion. “I’d have assumed I’d only be a disappointment. So you weren’t waiting for a certain raven-haired Casanova?” The comparison was annoyingly accurate. Sirius had a way with girls, a way with Dorcas, that Remus would never have. He didn’t envy him; he wasn’t jealous, merely mournful. They had a chance at a life which Remus was beginning to realise that he couldn’t have.
Remus’ expression hardened slightly at the thought, but he forced another smile to his lips and this time it was more genuine. In the end of the day, as embittered as he was around the full moon, he owed his friends a hell of a lot. That included Dorcas, for simply putting up with him every time he said her full name aloud.
“What happened?” he asked, straining his voice so as to keep himself from putting it bluntly. Sirius was one of his best friends, but he could be a right arse at times and even had a habit of hurting others without even knowing it. Sirius had hurt Remus when he’d unknowingly told Severus Snape how to get to the Shrieking Shack on the night of the full moon. Remus hadn’t been able to look the Slytherin in the eye since.
The last thing Dory felt like right then was smiling, but she felt that familiar and automatic pull at the corners of her lips as a smile appeared on Remus’ face. She only let it grace her features very briefly, and then she fought to keep it away. Either Sirius hadn’t yet told Remus what had happened, or the other boy was playing dumb. There could have been any number of reasons for Remus to be playing dumb. Perhaps Sirius had told the story in such a way as to omit his involvement in what had happened. In that case, Remus might not be interested at all in what Doe had to say. He and Sirius were closer friends than Doe was to any of them. They were also fiercely loyal - any moron could see that. No way would they take her side against another in the group. Perhaps he was playing dumb because he wasn’t interested in any of the stupid drama going on around him. So she and Sirius had been in a spat, so what? It happened all the time between multitudes of people in the castle. This was nothing new and was about as interesting as one of Binns’ lectures on golblin revolts. Or, perhaps Remus just didn’t want to get in the middle. Perhaps he didn’t want to have to pick a side.
The thought almost brought laughter from Dory. She and Remus weren’t that good of mates. He wouldn’t care about losing her friendship. Hell, he didn’t even seem upset that they hadn’t spoken or spent time together since the incident by the lake.
The realization that he really wouldn’t care about the outcome or its effect on Doe made the fight against a smile much easier. Even the annoyance she had begun to feel at the mention of Sirius ebbed, only to be replaced by a feeling of loneliness. She should have just gone to her dormitory and stayed there. Or maybe she should have just said a simple ‘hello’ to Remus and let him pass with nothing more said. She could have continued to wait until Lily appeared. Lily, at least, accepted Doe’s friendship. She wouldn’t pick a side, and if she did, most likely it would be Dory’s. She would listen to Dory and maybe even offer advice. Then again, maybe Doe really should have just stuck around her dormitory. She could have found a book to read. Maybe she could instead find an empty classroom and deal with her agitation in other ways. Maybe people were the last thing she needed to be dealing with right then.
“Casanova, right,” she scoffed bitterly, her eyes rolling once. She really wanted to utter names and insults, but had a feeling his friend wouldn’t appreciate hearing them. “I might have been waiting for him, but now that I think about it, it would be a terrible idea to see him right now.”
She pulled her bag to the front of her and fumbled with it slightly, finally reaching a hand inside and tugging on a piece of fabric. It grudgingly emerged from her bag, attempting to bring ink bottles and quills with it. Everything about that git was just disagreeable with her that day, wasn’t it? She folded it in half quickly and then held it out for Remus to take.
“Anyway, as long as we’re on the subject of that” git “er, him…. Would you be so kind as to return this jumper to him? The” idiot “I mean, he, managed to leave it behind the other day when we were… studying in the library.”
(Source: adoerable)
